the yoga instructor

she spread oil on the back of my ears and neck
while my girlfriend relaxed on the mat beside me
in shivasanah, which must mean rest
or spiritual ______ (something)

the oil took me from my petty fantasies
and dropped me into a vast, universal fantasy
a way to live beautifully like beasts

with the smell, every horrid sight I’d witnessed of late
flashed and receded
a top hat filled with puke
a woman stuffing dollars into a dog’s mouth

later, an iguana slinked up the steps in a macho, prehistoric way
and the oil wafted from my neck
like I too was an incredible lizard
and not a systems analyst

during yoga, yoga seemed like a humanly way to soothe humans
I recalled how I’d been formed in classrooms
felt the rules and exercises turning within me
while my girlfriend performed her gawky rendition of the poses
and the slender yoga instructor redid me 

I have always skipped over the Buddha and the waterfall
the vague, unambitious music one encounters
in massage studios and waiting rooms
but this time the oil kept me

my girlfriend theorized over a cheap Italian dinner
about the new personality of her old friend
she fraught over her career path (which was slowly teetering on
like a child’s wagon drawn clumsily by rope)

in my head, the petty fantasies recaptured me
my girlfriend looked stricken
I leaned over to shush her
to calm her
and from her neck, where the hair frizzes and braids itself
the oil spread and rose to meet me
calming me
shushing me

i am an orchid

which means I can die at any moment
which means I am the most graceful thing at the grocery store

I have several beautiful heads
I have all the body parts
and people hunt me

I lounge with decent posture
I am attached to a rod with a hair clip

love me and don’t be afraid of me
love me because visually you cannot not love me
unless I am yellowed or weak

take me from the supermarket and make me the fanciest part of your lame living room
show everyone you are responsible
that you have a lover
a tall feminine plant

fuck me when no one’s looking
if my manual tells you to
if we are both high on plant food
if your girlfriend’s on her period

I have the knowledge of the creator and of the future
but I don’t tell secrets
I am like the mean queen in a movie
but also the only beauty left in the world

celebrities rarely sit on the floor

there are usually chairs where they are
upholstered chairs
and white leather couches

people make room for celebrities
at their table
or on a subway

the houses of celebrities are filled
with chairs, couches, and breakfast nooks
with a lot of seating

there are areas, in the kids’ rooms or in the entertainment room
where velvet pillows are arranged in a pile
for a playful sitting or resting experience

a celebrity cannot sit on the floor
because celebrities are hunted by cameras
and a person can look disheveled on the floor

floors are dusty anyway
rugs could leave lint on the celebrities

on vacation celebrities lay on the beach
and in their hotel rooms one might mope on the floor

to remember how it felt to lay on floors
when they were young and slothy
and schleppy in college, before

in small private groups, celebrities want to lay on the floor
and screw their learned posture
but something is keeping them up